Opportunity Knocks! Again!

A couple of subject lines from this morning's inbox:

Subject:
blaming for LOW salary/wages? with our Dip1oma/Degree/MasteerMBA, You
Will get good offer xmdgwe p8

What the hell does that mean??

Then there's this:

Subject: I offer you an profitable place in our company...

Wow--an profitable place! Apparently in some country where they don't pronounce "p"--an profitable, an puppy, an poster-boy for sloppily written spam. And where they use a sort of "parallel English" for communication, as evinced by the message's content:

Good day,

Our surveys show that 81% of people of your city are not satisfied with
their weekly earnings and wish to make more.

That is why I would like to offer you an opportunity of part-time work.
To earn 532 AUD a week you have to spend 1-4 hours a week.

You need a phone preferably a mobile a computer and email.
If you are reading these lines, you need to start working.

The chance lasts till the end of the month; we have 78 vacancies in
your locality so far.

You will have to assist our clients. It is a simple working, which
requires attentiveness and chance.
we provide training and everything you need for the 78.
locality will be glad to assist you with any additional information.
To speed up our message , please send me an email to:JonesDaniel4nn@gmail.com


working

"Attentiveness and chance"...I must say, that part is intriguing!

But I have to wonder about JonesDaniel4nn's research, given that the very next message in my spam list has this to say:

Subject: 91% of people in your neighborhood, are not satisfied with their weekly
profits. You can upgrade it.

One wonders why I would be the least bit interested in "upgrading" the weekly profits of people in my neighborhood. I spend a fair amount of time avoiding them, truth be told. But anyway. I suppose it could be possible that 81% of the people in my fair city are not satisfied with the weekly earnings, and that 91% of the people in my neighborhood are unhappy with their weekly profits, so it may be comparing apples and pomegranates. Oh, but wait--here's the guts of the e-mail:

Hello, how are you

Our surveys show that 81% of people of your local are not satisfied with their monthly earnings and wish to make more.

That is why we would like to offer you an opportunity of part-time work. To earn 532
AU$ a week you have to spend 2-3 hours a week.
You need a phone preferably a mobile a computer and email.
If you are reading these lines, it means you have {_mac11_0} you need to start working.

The proposal lasts till the end of the month; we have 76 vacancies in your neighborhod so
far.
You will have to help our clients. It is a simple working, which requires attentiveness and proposal.
we provide training and everything you need for the 76. neighborhod will be happy to help you with any additional information.

To speed up our response , please send me an email to:5LiamWalkerz924@gmail.com


working

What th-- I think 5LiamWalkerz924 ripped this message off from JonesDaniel4nn!! Granted, it's a better offer (5LiamWalkerz924 is going to pay me 532 Australian dollars for 2-3 hours' work, while JonesDaniel4nn expects up to four hours' work for the same pay!), but I see that 5LiamWalkerz92 has only 76 vacancies in my "neighborhod," whatever that may be, compared to JonesDaniel4nn's 78 vacancies in my "locality," whatever that may be. (Actually, he says "we have 78 vacancies in your locality so far"(emphasis added), so I find myself wondering about turnover.)

It does occur to me that I could accept both offers, putting in 3 to 7 hours a week for AUD $1064. Currently the exchange rate is about 67¢ per US dollar, so that would be about $712.88, which is about $37,000 a year, which is way more than what I'm currently making for way more hours per week!

And, I mean, "attentiveness and chance" and "attentiveness and proposal"--this is hard to resist!