Monday, May 25, 2009

A Mystery Solved!

I have long marveled at "Mallard Fillmore," The World' Most Consistently Unfunny Comic Strip. But no more. Today's installment clears up a big mystery for me:

But of course! "Mallard" is relentlessly strident, one-note, and flat for the now-obvious reason that its perpetrator, Bruce Tinsley, doesn't understand what a joke is!

Glad to get that cleared up.

Says You

And here another handful of quotations, many if not most if not all from A Word a Day:

I cannot imagine a God who rewards and punishes the objects of his creation, whose purposes are modeled after our own -- a God, in short, who is but a reflection of human frailty. -Albert Einstein, physicist, Nobel laureate (1879-1955)

The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness. -John Kenneth Galbraith, economist (1908-2006)

Patriotism is proud of a country's virtues and eager to correct its deficiencies; it also acknowledges the legitimate patriotism of other countries, with their own specific virtues. The pride of nationalism, however, trumpets its country's virtues and denies its deficiencies, while it is contemptuous toward the virtues of other countries. It wants to be, and proclaims itself to be, "the greatest", but greatness is not required of a country; only goodness is. -Sydney J. Harris, journalist and author (1917-1986)

A time will come when a politician who has wilfully made war and promoted international dissension will be as sure of the dock and much surer of the noose than a private homicide. It is not reasonable that those who gamble with men's lives should not stake their own. -H.G. Wells, writer (1866-1946)

The artist brings something into the world that didn't exist before, and he does it without destroying something else. -John Updike, writer (1932-2009)

No matter that we may mount on stilts, we still must walk on our own legs. And on the highest throne in the world, we still sit only on our own bottom. -Michel de Montaigne, essayist (1533-1592)

Laughter and tears are meant to turn the wheels of the same machinery of sensibility; one is wind-power, and the other water-power. -Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr., poet, novelist, essayist, and physician (1809-1894)

A lawn is nature under totalitarian rule. -Michael Pollan, author, journalism professor (b. 1955)

Memories are interpreted like dreams. -Leo Longanesi, journalist and editor (1905-1957)

I happen temporarily to occupy this big White House. I am living witness that any one of your children may look to come here as my father's child has. -Abraham Lincoln, 16th president of the U.S. (1809-1865)

The only real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes. -Marcel Proust, novelist (1871-1922)

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it -- and stop there -- lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again, and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one any more. -Mark Twain, author and humorist (1835-1910)

Society is like a stew. If you don't keep it stirred up you get a lot of scum on the top. -Edward Abbey, naturalist and author (1927-1989)

I need someone to protect me from all the measures they take in order to protect me. -Banksy, street artist (b. 1974)

A language is an exact reflection of the character and growth of its speakers. -Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi (1869-1948)