Sunday, December 14, 2008

Now THIS Is More Like It!

I have in the past lamented the lack of creativity and attentiveness in the phishing e-mail that I've received of late, so you can imagine how pleased I was to come across this in my Yahoo Mail account today:

    Sunday, December 14, 2008 3:08 PM
    From:"Federal Bureau of Investigation"
    Anti-Terrorist And Monetory Crimes Division
    FBI Headquarters In Washington, D.C.
    Federal Bureau Of Investigation
    J. Edgar Hoover Building
    935 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW Washington, D.C. 20535-0001
    Telephone Number : (206) 973-2572

    Attn: Beneficiary,

    This is to Officially inform you that it has come to our notice and we have thoroughly completed an Investigation with the help of our Intelligence Monitoring Network System that you legally won the sum of $800,000.00 USD from a Lottery Company outside the United States of America. During our investigation we discovered that your e-mail won the money from an Online Balloting System and we have authorized this winning to be paid to you via a Certified Cashier's Check.

    Normally, it will take up to 10 business days for an International Check to be cashed by your local bank. We have successfully notified this company on your behalf that funds are to be drawn from a registered bank within the United States Of America so as to enable you cash the check instantly without any delay, henceforth the stated amount of $800,000.00 USD has been deposited with Bank Of America.

    We have completed this investigation and you are hereby approved to receive the winning prize as we have verified the entire transaction to be Safe and 100% risk free, due to the fact that the funds have been deposited at Bank Of America you will be required to settle the following bills directly to the Lottery Agent in-charge of this transaction whom is located in Lagos, Nigeria. According to our discoveries, you were required to pay for the following -

    (1) Deposit Fee's ( Fee's paid by the company for the deposit into an American Bank which is - Bank Of America )
    (2) Cashier's Check Conversion Fee ( Fee for converting the Wire Transfer payment into a Certified Cashier's Check )
    (3) Shipping Fee's ( This is the charge for shipping the Cashier's Check to your home address and this fee includes Insurance )

    The total amount for everything is $1000 (One Thousand -US Dollars). We have tried our possible best to indicate that this $1000 should be deducted from your winning prize but we found out that the funds have already been deposited at Bank Of America and cannot be accessed by anyone apart from you the winner, therefore you will be required to pay the required fee's to the Agent in-charge of this transaction via Western Union Money Transfer Or Money Gram.

    In order to proceed with this transaction, you will be required to contact the agent in-charge ( Mr. Benson Edward) via e-mail. Kindly look below to find appropriate contact information:

    Telephone Number : +234-808-208-4580

    You will be required to e-mail him with the following information:


    You will also be required to request Western Union or Money Gram details on how to send the required $1000 in order to immediately ship your prize of $800,000.00 USD via Certified Cashier's Check drawn from Bank Of America, also include the following transaction code in order for him to immediately identify this transaction : EA2948-910.

    This letter will serve as proof that the Federal Bureau Of Investigation is authorizing you to pay the required $1000 ONLY to Mr. Benson Edward via information in which he shall send to you, if you do not receive your winning prize of $800,000.00 we shall be held responsible for the loss and this shall invite a penalty of $3,000 which will be made PAYABLE ONLY to you (The Winner).

    Mr. Bill Nicholson
    Special Agent.
    Washington DC FBI.
    Room, 7367
    J. Edgar Hoover Building
    935 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW
    Washington, D.C. 20535-0001

    Please find below an authorized signature which has been signed by the FBI Director- Robert Mueller, also below is the FBI NSB (National Security Branch Seal)

    Authorized Signature


    NOTE: In order to ensure your check gets delivered to you ASAP, you are advised to immediately contact Mr. Benson Edward via contact information provided above and make the required payment of $1000 to information in which he shall provide to you

It would have been better had the images referred to in the e-mail (NSB seal, and so on) had actually appeared, and the English is a little sketchy (sketchier even than a bureaucrat's familiarity with the language), but at least the creators put a little bit of effort into their illicit endeavors, which I'm afraid is more than can be said about so much of what I receive in my spam folders these days. Good work, guys!

Sure hope my money arrives soon, though--you know, Christmas and everything!

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