The other day I was reminded of a sign that used to be on a door at a past place of employment:
OPEN CAREFULLY, AS IF YOU WERE ON OTHER SIDE!
What idiotic advice. If I were on the other side, I wouldn’t need to open the door!
When I was a kid, you used to see little cards and tokens and whatnot that Catholics were encouraged to carry on them in case they were involved in a serious accident. My dad used to have one that sounded like the set=up for a bad joke:
I AM A CATHOLIC. PLEASE CALL ME A PRIEST.
Okay, you're a priest!
Filling out some forms, I came to this question:
NUMBER TO CALL IN CASE OF EMERGENCY
Well, 911, of course!