Observations, ramblings, and miscellany from William J Reynolds. Politics, religion, computers, society--all are fair game.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
News Flash: Pope Likes Catholic Church Best
Maybe it is. Strange, I mean. But I guess I commented on it so much in individual correspondence with the far-flungs, as well as in real-time conversation with several acquaintances and co-workers of the non-Catholic persuasion (attentive readers will note that I work for a Lutheran organization, in which capacity it turns out that I have become a Defender of the Faith as well as a Denouncer of Catholic Myths, not unlike the Roaming Gnome) that if feels like I've dealt with The Issue, such as it may be. But John made me feel remiss in my self-appointed duty to inform, entertain, and illuminate, and so I will toss in another $0.02 worth here.
Incidentally, the infamous document, with the catchy title "Responses to Some Questions Regarding Certain Aspects of the Doctrine on the Church" is online here: http://212.77.1.245/news_services/bulletin/news/20586.php?index=20586&lang=en#TESTO%20IN%20LINGUA%20INGLESE. Caution: It's a real page-turner, so don't start it at bedtime if you have to get up early the next day.
By and large, I am puzzled by the hew and cry over this document. As near as I can tell--not being a theologian, and that's an important point to make if only because the document is obviously written by theologians for other theologians, which right out of the box makes it problematic in terms of the Mainstream Media's ability to get the story straight--the document does little but re-state a position from which, to my knowledge, the Catholic Church has never deviated, viz., only the Catholic Church (more accurately, the Catholic faith) is "complete" in terms of what Christ wants in his church.
In the fifty years to which I can speak, that has always been the mantra. Other churches (and for simplicity's sake we'll call them churches and not worry about the document's claim that bunches of them are not "real" churches at all) possess in greater or lesser extents some of the Minimum Daily Adult Requirement, but, like Total, only the Catholic faith contains 'em all.
Which is where we get the One True Faith monicker that I throw around in semi-sarcastic fashion. When I was a kid, OTF was invoked in all seriousness; and of course plenty of people still feel that way.
The pope being one of them.
You find this shocking?
Now, feel free to disagree with the pope all you like. I often do. Lots of people do. I don't have any issue with people disagreeing with the Vatican. What I have issue with is the umbrage that so many people seem to be taking. Indeed, more than a few of them strike me as the sort of people who lie in wait for something to come along and offend them.
I am reminded here of several Protestant acquaintances who, over the years, have expressed varying degrees of dismay because they are not "allowed" to receive Communion in the Catholic Church. Their attitude, invariably, is that their church "welcomes" everyone to "the table," so mine should too. Setting aside the fiction that all Protestant churches as so "welcoming"*, it has struck me that the majority of these folks wouldn't be caught dead in a Catholic church in the first place, let alone lined up for Communion, so it's complaining for the sake of complaining.
Put another way: My church teaches that there are seven sacraments; most other Christian churches ignore that and teach that there are two. My church teaches that only men may be ordained; many (though certainly not all) Protestant denominations ignore that, too. My church teaches that salvation come from the combination of God's grace and our own actions; most Protestant churches ignore that teaching, and indeed insist that their view--"grace alone"--represents a "more mature" theology.
And so--given that they don't view the pope as the leader of the Christian faith; given that they freely ignore many of the teachings of the OTF; given that they aren't shy about insisting that their points of view are, for want of a better term, "right"...what they heck to do they care what the pope (that is, the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith) is saying?
Again, a great deal of it sounds like complaining for the sake of complaining.
Interestingly, just the day before "Responses to Some Questions Regarding Certain Aspects of the Doctrine on the Church" hit the fan, I was at lunch with some of my Lutheran pals when my ears picked up something from the other end of the table. One of my companions was saying something about how difficult life must have been for Martin Luther and the other reformers, to which another added, "And being right wouldn't have made it any better."
Well, there you have it. They think their religion is right; I think mine is right; you think yours is right. And so on. So what's the brouhaha? Well, geez, the Vatican actually came out and said they think theirs is right. In public and everything. How rude!
Get real. To those who claim that this strikes a blow somehow against "ecumenism": If you're really interested in dialogue, then you must acknowledge that by definition you don't have dialogue if people are avoiding talking about certain subjects--like, you know, our differences. To those who pretend that their feelings have been hurt by the pope: Grow up. I've spent a large portion of the past 50 years being assured by "good Christians" that I am not a "real" Christian because I'm a member of the Catholic Church. Who cares? To those who will insist that "my church doesn't go around pretending it has all the answers": Balderdash. They all do. That's why they exist. The only difference is in whether they choose to come out and say so, or to speak indirectly and obliquely in minced words.
Here are some sources for additional reading:
"Document Released By Pope Stirs Catholic Controversy" by Father Jonathan Morris at Fox News.
"The Pope's Got A Point" by Rabbi Yerachmiel Seplowitz in The Jewish Press.
"Dobson Offers Insight on 2008 Republican Hopefuls" By Dan Gilgoff. I throw this in for malicious fun--it's one "Christian," James Dobson, asserting that another "Christian," probable GOP presidential candidate Fred Thompson, isn't actually a "Christian" at all! I include this in the spirit of clean-up-your-own-yard-before-you-complain-about-the-neighbors'.
__
* One of my co-workers, an ELCA Lutheran pastor, tells of the time he and his sons were traveling and were refused communion at a Missouri Synod Lutheran church because they were strangers to the pastor. Some churches do seem to "welcome all" to communion, but I think their number is smaller than those that do not. But that is just one of several inconvenient truths that are ignored in order to reserve all the vilification for the Catholic Church.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Who Am I?
Here's the deal: A little while ago I decided to change some preferences in my Zap2It account. (Zap2It is the online TV listing I emigrated to when I got tired of waiting forever and a weekend for TV Guide's graphics to load. Now, of course, Zap2It has discovered Flash-animated advertising, so it takes forever and a weekend for the...ad...for...Glenn...Close's...new..series...to...load...before...the...listings...will...appear.) This meant logging in, naturally, and that's where the problem began. I put in one of my e-mail addresses and a likely password. And was rewarded with a screen that told me my "e-mail/password is invalid."
Well, yes. But which is it?
I have half a dozen e-mail addresses; in all likelihood I would have used one of my "big three" in signing up. I have more password out there than you can shake a stick at, and while I keep important ones stored (not on the computer, and not in a form that any would-be trespasser is apt to make sense of) there are half a dozen or so that I use for "non-vital" purposes like this one. It's been too long since I did permutations or factorials or whatever they may be to figure out how many possibilities we have here, but it's a bunch.
Of course, there's the "forget your password?" button...which means I have to keep plugging in e-mail addresses until I hit the magic combination. So I got it on the second try--that's not the point! The point is, wouldn't life be simpler if they would tell me which item, the address or the password, I got wrong? It would certainly cut down on the guesswork. And since some (indeed, many) sites seem capable of doing this, I don't suppose it's prohibitively difficult to effect.
And, yes, I could just write this stuff down. But I'm not always in the same location as my password list (seems like a bad idea to carry it around with me). And is it too much to ask that they meet me halfway?
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
DVR

I notice that the DVR that I bought last fall from Geeks.com, the easy-to-remember Lite-On LVW-5115GHC+, is on sale again for ten or fifteen bucks less than I paid for it. Oh, well...I've had all these months of utility, and it wasn't that expensive to start with (I think I paid $75 or so).
Utility...and oddities.
Well, maybe not. This is my first experience with a DVR, so maybe they're not oddities at all; maybe they're common to the species. I keep reminding myself that this is a low-end, entry-level machine, and that if I had spent more I probably could expect more. And I remind myself that more expensive units record to a hard drive and thence, if desired, to disc, whilst this machine records directly to discs, which may make a difference, too.
Still, at the very least, I have to ask myself why the computer that is the guts of the thing wasn't made smart enough to understand that if there is an empty block of, say, 2:30:00 over here, and an empty block of, say, 00:05:00 over there, and the timer is set to record a program that is of an hour's duration, then the thing to do is record the program into the first block and not the second block, which will only result in a "disc full" error at the end of five minutes. When, clearly, the disc is not full. But nooooo. I have to go in manually and tell the silly thing, via an "overwrite" command, that it's okay to write to that empty block of space. Very primitive. And, of course, the number of hiccups resulting from my foolishly glancing at the disc menu and seeing that there's "plenty of time" to record, and not checking to make sure that the LVW-5115GHC+ knows that there's plenty of time, has resulted in several missed opportunities these past six or eight months.
The question is, why isn't it smarter?
I am a bit disappointed in the picture quality of the LVW-5115GHC+, but I'm not sure where the blame should rest. Previously I had a little Cyberhome DVD player attached to that TV set (the bedroom set), and the picture was fine--but of course that was playback-only, and almost always professionally recorded DVDs, so I am to an extent talking apples and cabbages here, I know. But it seems to me that the picture on even professional DVDs viewed through the LVW-5115GHC+ is a little washed out, the colors less vibrant. In both cases--the Cyberhome and the Lite-On--I have to play through a VCR, since the TV set in question is an older model that doesn't have the proper input ports...indeed, it has no input at all except for an RF post and the old dipole antenna connection. And that may degrade the picture somewhat, although, as stated, I did the same thing for the Cyberhome and the picture was good.
It's also possible that the cable-TV connection in the bedroom isn't that good--the picture back there has never been as crisp as the one in the living room, although of course theyr'e different sets and so on. But ever since we moved into that house we've noticed that you get interference on cordless phones if you wander into the bedroom with them, so I suspect there's some kind of an electromagnetic issue there, too, and thay may affect the TV reception.
Or it could be a combination of things, including (as I've concluded) that the Lite-On just doesn't have that good a TV tuner, based on my attempts to "fine tune" it via the remote control.
I haven't yet gotten into my eventual plan to transfer all those miles of tape to disc, although I have tried dubbing from disc-to-disc, with so-so results. This seems to be the result of quirks in the discs recorded with the Lite-On and how they play back on other DVD players. Specifically, I had recorded a couple of local newscasts in which figured groups that my kids are involved in, and wanted to save just those little segments for posterity. So I plugged the Cyberhome DVD player into the Lite-On recorder, and went to town. Well, not really. The recorded discs didn't quite behave properly in the DVD player--jumping around rather than smoothly forwarding, and sometimes not reversing at all. I had to unplug and restart the Cyberhome a couple of times to get it to "snap out" of a catatonic state. Eventually I gave up and just suffered through the entire newscasts, hitting the record button on the DVR when it finally got to my part. Again, primitive, but it worked.
Well, it worked on ONE disc--I tried with a second disc, a recording of my daughter playing her saxophone at her church, and so far I have yet to find any DVD player that will even recognize the disc as a disc, let alone play it. And, yes, I went through the "Finalize (Make Compatible)" steps under Disc Tools. Worked on one disc, not on the other. (Neither disc will mount on my Blue and White G3 Macintosh, but I have in the past observed that it, or its CD burner/DVD player, is very fussy about things, up to an including failing to recognize certain brands of CD-ROMs.)
On the whole, I guess the LVW-5115GHC+ is adequate for my current purposes--mostly recording, watching, and then wiping TV shows. The DVDs are certainly much easier to deal with than VHS tapes, and I have yet to encounter a DVD player or recorder that eats discs as VCRs and cassette players were wont to do with tapes. But the main thing the LVW-5115GHC+ has done is point out what features will be mandatory on my next DVR, specifically a hard-drive and a decent tuner.
As for Geeks.com, I would definitely order from them again...though of course I have one small quibble: The packing sheet for the LVW-5115GHC+ says it's supposed to come with a DVD-RW disc. It didn't. So I e-mailed Geeks.com and told them as much, hoping that they could simply pop one in the mail to be. Got back a nice reply saying they weren't set up to do that, but if I wanted I could send back the whole package and they'd send out another one. Way more work than it was worth, so I declined...all the while wondering how hard it could possibly be to grab a DVD-RW off the shelf (they sell media, too, so it's not like someone would have to make a Circuit City run) and stick it in a padded envelope. Oh,w ell--obviously not a big deal as far as customer service is concerned, since I would, as indicated, buy from them again.
But here's a lingering problem: These past 25 years or so, I have gotten into the habit of "taping" TV programs. But now I use discs. Am I now "discing" programs? "Recording" sounds stilted and clumsy. As this technology replaces VCRs, will we find that we are still "taping" things, even as we still "dial" our telephones that haven't sported a dial in 30 years or more?
McCain's Free-Fall
Drew Westen, in "Telling Stories on the Campaign Trail: Lessons from McCain's Free-Fall" at The Huffington Post, writes:
- The problem for John McCain was that his transparent right turn onto a bridge to nowhere and his cheerleading for a man he personally knew to be despicable -- because he'd looked into his eyes in South Carolina and seen his soul -- didn't fit the story that made him so compelling. Instead, as the perfidy of Bush Republicanism was about to become increasingly clear to the American public, what became equally clear was that the honorable McCain had learned from Dubbya that the straightest line between McCain and the White House was a dishonorable one. [Read the whole thing here.]
Though never a big fan of McCain, I once upon a time had him in the "maybe not so terrible" column of presidential contenders. In years gone by, I felt that, philosophical and political differences aside, he was a man of integrity, and had he gained the GOP nomination in 2000, and won, well, that would certainly be a better outcome than some others I could think of (which came true). But now McCain has emerged as Just Another Politician, willing if not eager to check his integrity at the door, set aside any principle or higher ideal, in his quest for office. As Westen puts it, "he sold his soul for a brief lease on 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue."
It's actually sad: If he had always been a guy I distrusted (or worse), his behavior on the campaign trail this season would serve as an I-told-you-so moment. The fact that I once had a certain regard for him (albeit perhaps grudging) makes his fall--and his bizarre tone-deafness to the way he is coming off even within his own party--an ungleeful event.
The mistake McCain made is this: As Westen points out, he seems to have decided that Bush's 2000 playbook was his path to the White House. But Bush was, is, and always will be unprincipled. McCain was, or at least was perceived as, a man of principle. (Remember the "Straight Talk Express," anyone?) When he threw principle out the window, when he revealed himself as another empty suit who would say or do anything to get elected, he lost not only his chance but himself.
It's too bad that his legacy now seems to be to serve as an object lesson to other politicians. As if they're listening.
Monday, July 16, 2007
The Dog in the Night-Time
Sherlock Holmes: "To the curious incident of the dog in the night-time."
Gregory: "The dog did nothing in the night-time."
Holmes: "That was the curious incident."
And speaking of watchdogs who remain silent, here’s this from the Washington Post:
In Intelligence World, A Mute Watchdog
Panel Reported No Violations for Five Years
By John Solomon
Washington Post Staff Writer
Sunday, July 15, 2007; A03
An independent oversight board created to identify intelligence abuses after the CIA scandals of the 1970s did not send any reports to the attorney general of legal violations during the first 5 1/2 years of the Bush administration's counterterrorism effort, the Justice Department has told Congress.
Although the FBI told the board of a few hundred legal or rules violations by its agents after the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks, the board did not identify which of them were indeed legal violations. This spring, it forwarded reports of violations in 2006, officials said.
The President's Intelligence Oversight Board -- the principal civilian watchdog of the intelligence community -- is obligated under a 26-year-old executive order to tell the attorney general and the president about any intelligence activities it believes "may be unlawful." The board was vacant for the first two years of the Bush administration.
The FBI sent copies of its violation reports directly to Attorney General Alberto R. Gonzales. But the board's mandate is to provide independent oversight, so the absence of such communications has prompted critics to question whether the board was doing its job.
"It's now apparent that the IOB was not actively employed in the early part of the administration. And it was a crucial period when its counsel would seem to have been needed the most," said Anthony Harrington, who served as the board's chairman for most of the
"The White House counsel's office and the attorney general should have known and been concerned if they did not detect an active and effective IOB," Harrington said.
Read the whole of it here.
Feeling safer yet?
Church, Scandals, and Money
The Business of the Catholic Church
Bill Maher
Posted July 16, 2007 | 10:35 AM (EST)
In this great and diverse country, one is always proud to see their own city on the front page of the national newspapers, so you can imagine my pride yesterday when Los Angeles turned out to be the place where the Catholic Church has had to pay the largest fine ever for diddling kids, $660 million. (Full disclosure: I was raised Catholic and I was sometimes alone with priests, although none ever tried anything. Which is a little insulting.)
Cardinal Mahoney announced that to help pay for the deal, the church would sell a building it owns on Wilshire and about 50 other properties they weren't using, which reminded me, oh yeah, the Catholic Church owns more property out here than Bob Hope did -- and why? Oh, yeah, because it's a business -- and not just a business, really, the greatest business in the world, in that, like all religions, it's selling an invisible product. It doesn't really get easier than that, unless you count Edgar Bergen, a ventriloquist on the RADIO.
The total payouts for abuse cases in dioceses all over America is now over $2 billion, and I imagine much of it came from people who went to Church and bought the invisible product by dropping their hard earned money into the basket (Full disclosure: when I was a child, that was my favorite part of the mass, and my father often let me put a quarter in). I wonder what those people think when they see that their money got spent on buying the privilege of touching and fucking kids. I was reading a week or so ago about Aga Khan, a very rich man who leads some tiny sect of Islam, and it's a good one to lead, since lots of the followers just send the dude money for being him.
It's the Ultimate Hustle.
Happy belated birthday to our dear editor -- thanks for letting me vent on that, it was on my mind and I'm doing Leno tonight and did not want it to come out there! Also let me plug my stand-up special this Saturday night on HBO -- I've been on the road, and it's ready and then some!
In cases like this, one must always filter for sensationalism and the quest for the joke, and having done so I mostly agree with Mahrer's sentiments, though not his tone (and I have yet to figure out why people seem to be so annoyed about the Catholic Church owning property. My only complaint--and it's directed at all churches and all religious organizations--is that I think the enormous tax breaks they receive violate the intent of the First Amendment). But I felt he, and most other observers/critics of the issue, are missing an important point. And so I told him that, in posting this comment:
Mr. Mahrer misses an important point: Long-range, this is good news not only for the victims but also for the Catholic Church.
Disclosure: I am a Catholic, although that strain that some insist cannot exist, viz., bleeding-heart liberal Democratic pro-choice Catholic. I am sickened and angered by the thought of priest pedophiles (like Mr. Mahrer, I spent a lot of time around priests--went to a Catholic college--and met some profound jerks, but no criminals), and even more sickened and angered that some bishops knew their crimes and protected them. (Why are they not behind bars?)
That's where "good for the Catholic Church" comes in.
If anyone learns anything from this atrocity, I hope it will be that cover-ups don't work. Ever. The accessories-after-the-fact who felt they needed to "protect" the institution from "scandal" created greater "scandal": the revelation that they covered up crimes, and then attempted to obfuscate and obstruct justice as the crimes came to light.
Now that dioceses are being hit where, as they say, it hurts, one hopes--perhaps naively--that some in leadership positions will learn a lesson: You can sweep it under the carpet today, but sooner or later the bulge will start to show and it will cost you a good deal more to clean it up later. In a perfect world, people who purport to be working on God's behalf would not have to be hit in the wallet to be made to understand this principle, but it ain't a perfect world.
P.S.: When I throw a few coppers into the collection plate, I am not buying an "invisible product": I'm helping in a small way to finance the good things that the church does--education, health care, poverty and disaster relief, etc. Another terrible side-effect of church "leaders" covering up priests' crimes is that the people who benefit from these services have been and will be victims of the fallout.
Meanwhile, my indignation extends to prosecutors and district attorneys in various jurisdictions who have inexplicably failed to prosecute the bishops who knowingly covered up priests' crimes. They are, as I assert above, accessories after the fact and should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. That, too, would be good for the church in the long run.
But since when is anybody interested in the long run?
Friday, July 13, 2007
False Witness
- A. Zed is neither a Christian nor a "Christian." Duh. (The distinction between the two is this: the former is someone who genuinely strives to follow the teachings of Jesus of Nazareth, and who probably accepts him as the Son of God and Savior of the World; the latter is someone who has a list of the "right" words and the "right" action that he or she uses to judge whether someone is a "real" Christian. You might be a God-fearing churchgoer who accepts and lives out everything in the first clause of the previous session, but if you don't attend the "right" church or use the "right" shibboleths, you are not a "real" Christian.)
- B. Zed did not use the phrase "in Jesus' name." See above re shibboleths, as well as re Zed being neither a Christian nor a "Christian." Also he referred to the Creator as "the Deity Supreme" and not "God"…as, apparently, God intended.
C. Zed is not the "right" kind of chaplain: See, my guess is that the "Christians" who tried to shout him down would have made a scene even if he had been a Christian chaplain…but the "wrong sort" of Christian, i.e., a Christian and not a "Christian."
D. These "Christians" persist in perpetuating the fiction that the United States was founded by "Christians" just like them, and that that "Christian" land has been wrested away from them by godless liberals, Democrats, and homosexuals who are either not "Christians" or the "wrong sort" of Christian and who tend to use words like tolerance and ecumenism and cooperation instead of "in Jesus' name" or "personal savior" or "born again."
E. Some people are always spoiling for a fight.
Uh-oh. Christian Newswire. AKA "Christian" Newswire. This can't be good. But onward I press:
WASHINGTON, July 12 /Christian Newswire/--A Hindu chaplain will pray a Hindu prayer on the floor of the U.S. Senate for the first time in history. But yesterday, staffers from the offices of Senator Clinton (D-NY) and Harry Reid (D-NV) both denied a request for equal access to a chaplain who prays "in Jesus name."
And it goes on from there, in the same vein, viz., they let in pagans but keep out "real" "Christians." Read the whole thing for yourself here (where I first found it), or on the "Christian" Newswire here. And note ye this: No sources are given for this alleged "news" item. It's a complete rant. One is especially leery of such statements as
Monday, June 25, 2007
"Great" Spam!
For your entertainment I present them here as they came to me, "sender" first, followed by subject line. The "sender" notwithstanding, some of them appear to have been written by Yoda.
Leta Hill That those cadwell
Augusta Grant bigger d1ck in 2 weeks grew
Roslyn Mccall Don't let your x-life suffer sfilra
Wilma English Get A Bigger Today! dearie
Collectibles Today It's a Draw! John Wayne wall decor art first
Tony Must Have apothecary we acclaim: unusual markdown.
Mamie Davidson gzk Gain Up to 4+ gaixc
Lula Oconnor It till buena
Hot Sexy Christian Singles »-(¯`v´¯)-» View Single Christians Photos »-(¯`v´¯)-»
(do not the words “hot,” “sexy,” “Christian,” and “singles”—arranged in that order—not strike you as peculiar?
Lesa Taylor But sadism do bare
Elnora Ritter Become A New Man -Max-Xl grown jar
advanced my vdirt
Bridget hormone dtitled
Jesus disheveled and then and since the roles of the offering was firm but how would b...
inside Jarrett A he most
Geneva Bailey bijouterie crouch derelict
fort at delivery For caffeine Studies in humans have not shown that allocation
Ashley Novak basilar cowherd agricola
Ladonna Olson in from sanitary
Headache ranch enforceable
Guy N.Lillian cone wring
Jacob Against simple and you're playing with; his desk as the tight: smile. Pirenne's ...
Micah Brooks Be eveleth because guadalupita
Jeff automatically, and out here, too old gweat achievement, This?
Deidre Phelps Not mahoney at coulomb
Charles Alexander Yes. Which Mallow, found ourselves, a Smyrnian jacket for its
Roslyn Shields As who collar
Terra Hogan FW : my Pen1s is bigger than aghast ?
Janice Griggs weatherbeaten acrimony permitted ;
Chrystal Buckner wow, Monica was shocked beakrebi
Dolly Otero ceremonial astigmatism procession
Leigh Woods the rocket kent
Pearl Harper fckb Don't cut yourself short... szyps
(eventually I shall write a book with a character named Pearl Harper)
As They Say
Don't be yourself. Be someone a little nicer. -Mignon McLaughlin, journalist and author (1913-1983)
I am aware that no man is a villain in his own eyes. -James Baldwin, writer (1924-1987)
Tolerably early in life I discovered that one of the unpardonable sins, in the eyes of most people, is for a man to presume to go about unlabelled. The world regards such a person as the police do an unmuzzled dog, not under proper control. -Thomas Henry Huxley, biologist and writer (1825-1895)
Since we are destined to live out our lives in the prison of our minds, our one duty is to furnish it well. -Peter Ustinov, actor, writer and director (1921-2004)
It's like, at the end, there's this surprise quiz: Am I proud of me? I gave my life to become the person I am right now. Was it worth what I paid? -Richard Bach, writer (1936- )
Though force can protect in emergency, only justice, fairness, consideration and cooperation can finally lead men to the dawn of eternal peace. -Dwight D. Eisenhower, U.S. general and 34th president (1890-1969)
It might be a good idea if the various countries of the world would occasionally swap history books, just to see what other people are doing with the same set of facts. -Bill Vaughan, journalist (1915-1977)
Nonviolence means avoiding not only external physical violence but also internal violence of spirit. You not only refuse to shoot a man, but you refuse to hate him. -Martin Luther King, Jr., civil-rights leader (1929-1968)
What I stand for is what I stand on. -Wendell Berry, farmer, author (1934- )
The conscience of the world is so guilty that it always assumes that people who investigate heresies must be heretics; just as if a doctor who studies leprosy must be a leper. Indeed, it is only recently that science has been allowed to study anything without reproach. -Aleister Crowley, author (1875-1947)
There is no religion without love, and people may talk as much as they like about their religion, but if it does not teach them to be good and kind to other animals as well as humans, it is all a sham. -Anna Sewell, writer (1820-1878)
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Sticking Points
Although I have long had difficulty remembering numbers—a cashier can tell me how much I owe, and I will have to look at the cash-register screen before writing the check—I have long been amazed at how well certain numbers stick in my head…and how poorly others do.
For instance, I recall instantly my family’s phone number from my boyhood in Omaha—though you might say that 393-1393 is a pretty easy number to remember, even forty years on. How, then, that I still remember my grandfather’s number—393-1632—some twenty years after his death? Or my best friend, Joe’s, number, 393-1395?
Time seems to have little to do with it. I remember those numbers from forty years ago, but can’t recall my college phone numbers from thirty years ago. I only remember that the numbers in Swanson Hall were whatever the campus prefix was plus 4 and the room number—4747 my freshman year and 4743 my sophomore year. But I have no recollection at all what our number was when a couple of friends and I moved off-campus our junior and senior years. I can’t even think what it may have started with.
I can remember the number I had in St. Paul—698-1276—but I can’t remember if I had that same number in my first apartment, on Cretin Avenue South, or just in the apartment Peg and I took on St. Paul Avenue when we were first married. My office number at the Webb Company started out as 698-7450, I think, and later switched to 690-7450 as the neighborhood outgrew the 698 prefix.
We moved to Sioux Falls in 1984, but I have no idea what the phone number was for the year we lived on Louise Avenue. I do recall that, like all the phones on that end of town in those days, it began with 361. This was the cause of some confusion, for it had not been too many years since every blessed telephone number in town began with 33. Indeed, when my family first moved here in the late 1960s, the town was small enough that it could exist on not only that single EDison exchange, but also that only the odd numbers needed to be attached to it: 332, 334, 336, 338. This led to the annoying habit of many locals to give only five-digit phone numbers:
What’s your number?
It’s two seven nine three five.
Um…two sev— that’s not enough numbers, is it?
Which of course made you look like the idiot. More idiotic, though, is that too many people in my community still insist on giving you only five digits if the first two are both threes, even though the town’s population explosion coupled with the breakup of the Bell System means it’s been over twenty years since every number in town was on the EDison exchange.
You might say that duration would cause a number to stick, and that would make some sense, I suppose. But I had the same number at Stafford Advertising for three years or so, and today haven’t the vaguest idea what it might have been. Wouldn’t three years be enough for a number to stick?
You might say that the number’s relative importance would cause it to stick—but wouldn’t a work number be pretty important? And if nothing else, wouldn’t the sheer number of times you give out your work number cause it to lodge pretty solidly? Anyhow, what would you make of the fact that I can remember not only my Omaha friend, Joe’s, phone number so clearly but also my Sioux Falls childhood friend, Dave’s number, and yet can’t remember that of the girl I dated pretty steadily through high school, nor my wife’s from before we were married?
Maybe it has to do with age—not that I’m getting old and forgetting things, since the odd stuff I obviously do remember seems to negate that idea. I mean, the age I was when I learned things. When you’re a kid, knowing your family’s phone number is a big deal. It’s important. Perhaps my parents worked with me to ensure that I knew it in case I got lost. Maybe that’s why I remember my grandfather’s number…but why, then, don’t I remember my other grandfather’s number, since he was alive until I was 10 or 11? Unless it’s precisely because he died when I was a kid, while my other grandfather lived until I was in my thirties.
But of course all the numbers of all the lockers I ever had in school are long gone, as are their combinations. Most room numbers vanished only a couple of weeks into the school year: once I learned where they were it was no longer necessary to remember what they were. Except our old Debate Room at Washington High School was 419.
Street addresses stick a little longer, apparently. 7433 Hascall Street. 4527 Decatur Street. 1533 St Paul Avenue. And so on. Do we utilize a house number more than a phone number?
I am reminded (for a few things stick, you know) of a Blondie comic from years ago, a Sunday strip, in which a fellow appears on the Bumsteds’ doorstep telling them that he grew up in that house and was wondering if he could look around. They invite him in, and he sentimentally recalls sliding down that old banister, sitting in the kitchen as his mother cooked, playing in his old room, etc. Tearfully, as he’s leaving, he thanks them for their trouble and avers that he will never forget those wonderful days at good old 123 Elm Street or whatever the address was.
And of course the Bumsteds have to inform him that this is Maple Street, and Elm is two blocks over.
Found in a Wallet
The first is from my old friend Monsignor James Michael Doyle. It does not originate with him, for I had and have heard a similar sentiment expressed elsewhere although I am unable to find attribution for it. What Doyle said, as jotted by me on March 6, 2005, was:
I have seen “irresponsible” for “unlasting.” Either way, the sentiment holds.
The second quotation also was presented by Doyle (who was speaking at an “adult forum” hosted by my wife’s Lutheran church: Doyle and I share a keen interest in ecumenism), who correctly credited Ralph Waldo Emerson:
Ain’t that the truth.
I am, incidentally, always amused by the way certain artists and writers are almost invariably credited in a particular, and particularly stilted way. Ralph Waldo Emerson. So we don’t confuse him with all the other Ralph Emersons writing out there. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow—not to be confused with Henry Throckmorton Longfellow, the taxidermist. Of course, we all get caught up in it, to such an extent that it seems very odd to be confronted—as you sometimes will see on books published in the first half of the twentieth century—with Ralph W. Emerson or H.W. Longfellow. It just doesn’t look right—sort of like Lee H. Oswald or R.M. Nixon. It takes you a moment to figure out who’s being talked about.
Speaking of Longfellow (the writer, not the taxidermist, though it hardly matters), I am further reminded of a line from something I read in my adolescence, though Google fails to yield a single hit. The reference was to the great department-store Henry Wadsworth Woolworth, who refused to open a store in Alaska because his motto was “keep the Nome buyers yearning.”
Amazing what sticks with you, no?
Friday, June 22, 2007
How Tough Can it Be?
Experienced couple to lead Salvation Army
By Jill Callison
jcalliso@argusleader.com
Published: June 21, 2007
A couple with long ties to the Salvation Army have been chosen to lead the local church.
Majors Michael and Judith Mills have been ordained ministers for more than 30 years, but their ties to the Salvation Army go back longer than that.
"We're really products of what the Salvation Army can do to help individuals," Major Michael Mills said.
"My father was a recovering alcoholic. The Salvation Army helped him change his life, and we started going to church as a family. My wife was in a foster home out in
Judith Mills was raised in
The Mills will replace Majors Paul and Mary Duskin, who have been assigned to the Eastern Michigan and Divisional Headquarters in
Okay—catch that? The family name is apparently Mills, with an S, not Mill. And yet in that last paragraph, when they are being referred to in the plural, they are called “the Mills.”
No, no no. The Millses. One Mills; two Millses.
I’m sorry if that “sounds wrong.” No one said this was going to be pretty.
But it is straightforward. It’s every bit as straightforward as our Smith example. One Reynolds, two Reynoldses. Reynolds’s house; the Reynoldses’ house.
Several years ago I was a panelist at a writer’s convention. A woman in the audience asked a question about this very subject—how to properly for the possessive and/or plural form of names ending in S. One of my co-panelists—a well-regarded writer whose name you would recognize were I to provide it (a name that does not end in S, by the way, which is telling), and a woman who was and perhaps still is teaching English at a U.S. college, which also is telling—in all seriousness advised the questioner to avoid using names that end in S, since she herself couldn’t figure out how to keep it straight.
Ow.
I had a similar unsettling incident a few weeks ago, teaching a writing class at a local college. In that instance, I was commenting to my class on the gender-sensitive case, which they pretty much all seemed to have trouble with. I shared my (correct) opinion that, although it’s awkward, the proper form is to write Everyone must bring his or her book (rather than Everyone must bring their book, which is how my students were crafting such sentences), upon which one of the better students (in a group of really good students, it must be said) informed me that she had once raised the issue with another instructor in the English department (a member of the permanent staff, who had advanced degrees and letters after his or her name and everything), whose sage advice was to just go ahead and use their.
Ow, again.
I am reminded of my third-grade teacher, Sister Hildegund, a lovely old woman…but, alas, a very old woman, and one who should have been retired some years earlier (she literally would fall asleep at her desk during class, the poor thing). At a parent conference, she informed my folks that she didn’t understand “the new math” (as it was known in the 1960s)…and so simply did not teach it.
Ow, ow, ow.
The benefit of learning how to do something the proper way, as opposed to throwing up one’s hands in defeat and announcing that he or she “doesn’t get it,” is that once you do get it…you’ve got it, for good! Nothing is gained—no one progresses—by taking the attitude that, well, since everyone is doing it wrong we’ll just do it wrong, and sooner or later it will be right. (Obviously, that’s where we’re going with who and whom, and I have felt for some years that by the middle of this century, at the latest, all but the most hidebound of grammarians will be insisting upon the distinction. That’s fine—the language is, after all, a living and always-evolving thing—but until that time, there is a difference, and it does matter.)
And don’t even get me started on those signs people have on or in front of their houses—or, sometimes, on their RVs—telling one and all that they are The
Thursday, June 14, 2007
So They Say
The latest installment of collected quotations, mostly (actually, this time, all of 'em, I think) from the excellent A Word a Day newsletter:
Underground nuclear testing, defoliation of the rain forests, toxic waste ... Let's put it this way: if the world were a big apartment, we wouldn't get our deposit back. -John Ross
Lots of people think they're charitable if they give away their old clothes and things they don't want. It isn't charity to give away things you want to get rid of and it isn't a sacrifice to do things you don't mind doing. -Myrtle Reed, author (1874-1911)
The crucial disadvantage of aggression, competitiveness, and skepticism as national characteristics is that these qualities cannot be turned off at five o'clock. -Margaret Halsey, novelist (1910-1997)
The hardest-learned lesson: that people have only their kind of love to give, not our kind. -Mignon McLaughlin, journalist and author (1913-1983)
I am now quite cured of seeking pleasure in society, be it country or town. A sensible man ought to find sufficient company in himself. -Emily Bronte, novelist (1818-1848)
What religion a man shall have is a historical accident, quite as much as what language he shall speak. -George Santayana, philosopher (1863-1952)
How can they say my life is not a success? Have I not for more than sixty years got enough to eat and escaped being eaten? -
What loneliness is more lonely than distrust? -George Eliot (Mary Ann Evans), novelist (1819-1880)
Whatever people in general do not understand, they are always prepared to dislike; the incomprehensible is always the obnoxious. -Letitia E. Landon, author (1802-1838)
The only man I know who behaves sensibly is my tailor; he takes my measurements anew each time he sees me. The rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them. -George Bernard Shaw, writer, Nobel laureate (1856-1950)
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Dumb, or Just Annoying?
There are many reasons that Hotmail is the least favorite of my freebie e-mail accounts (it's slow, it's clunky, it fills up with Microsoft junk mail, etc.), but at the top of this list is this: It has a stupid sign-in procedure.
Yeah, yeah, I can have my Mac, or Firefox, or Hotmail itself remember some of the sign-in stuff, at least for awhile. But I prefer not to do that. Which means that whenever I sign into Hotmail I have to let them know I'm signing into Hotmail!
Here's what I mean: When I sign in to my Yahoo! Mail account, I type my username in one box and my password in the other. When I sign into my Gmail account, I type my username in one box and my password in the other. Heck, when I check my ancient Netscape Mail account, I type my username in one box and my password in the other even though it's now AIM Mail or something else these days.
Get the pic? Then riddle me this:
How's come when I sign into Hotmail, I have to add @hotmail.com to my username?
I mean, at the top of the page it says MSN Hotmail. Below that it says MSN® Hotmail® is changing... to Windows Live™ Hotmail®. (I'm thinking some of those proper nouns might be trademarked or registered with the U.S. Patent Office. But it's just a guess.) At the side of the page it says WindowsLive Hotmail. Above the sign-in fields it says Sign in to Hotmail.
In short, it seems to know that it's Hotmail.
But if I foolishly type my username instead of the whole address, it says Please type your e-mail address in the following format: yourname@example.com. Need help signing in?
Um, no, I don't need any help...but it seems the folks at MSN/Windows/Live/Hotmail do, for yourname@example.com implies that they have suddenly and inexplicably forgotten who they are.
This surpasses what I had some years ago considered to be The Dumbest Thing in E-mail, when AOL swallowed up Netscape. One fine day I received notice that I would have to change my username, which I had had for years and years, because it "conflicted" with a username at AOL. That piqued my interest, since my Netscape username was the same as my old and long abandoned AOL username. So I sent e-mail to that AOL address...and it came back with a no-such-user notification.
So that was dumb. But the Hotmail deal is dumber.
And while I'm at it, here's some similar but unrelated cyber-dumbness:
I have long since lost track of the number of times, in filling out this or that form, survey, etc., I am asked to input my date of birth. Fine, but ever since the turn of the century, the request--nay, demand--is always that it be in the form "mm/dd/yyyy." Now, stop me if I've said this before, but the yyyy part is silly. See, there is no one alive today who was born in 1856, nor is there anyone alive today who was born in 2056, so if I were to fill in, say, "56," would it not be pretty safe to assume I mean the 20th century version? I realize that now we do have among us people who were born in the 2000s...but, in the first place, I'm not sure too many five-year-olds are entering the Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes online; and in the second place, I'm not sure too many 95- or 100-year-olds are either, so I think it would be safe to assume that someone who filled in "02" as date of birth was not born in 1902 and probably not born in 2102 either.
I'm sure there's a perfectly swell computer-y explanation for having to indicate which century I was born in. That doesn't make it less silly, however.
Saturday, June 09, 2007
Where Credit Isn't Due
It's interesting, and amusing, to track the permutations of these releases via Google and Google News. (Oddly, I get slightly different hits using the same search terms on Google and Google News. Go figure.) This led me to send e-mail to a couple-three far-flung correspondents regarding the propriety of my now claiming all of these various sources that used my release verbatim or nearly so as places where "my work" has "been published."
Unfortunately, one or two of the far-flungeds seemed to think I was serious, and replied seriously. This leaves me with the dilemma of how now to look like an idiot while at the same time not making them look like idiots. There are those who will tsk-tsk and say it's the because e-mail is an inferior communications medium, rife with the possibility of misunderstandings such as this. To which, after much thought, I reply: hooey! The written language has been around for a little while now, and with scant reliance on "emoticons" or "smileys" abbreviations or any other crap to indicate the placement of tongue-in-cheek.
Anyhow, I as usual digress. The point is that now my CV is crammed to bulging with all of these new places where "my work" has "appeared." No idea how I will keep up with it all.
It then occurred to me that I have been short-changing myself for years now, for I can in complete honesty say that "my writing" has appeared in Newsweek, The Atlantic, Smithsonian, and Macworld...since at one point or another they have all printed letters from me! (Hey, I wrote the letters and they published them--how much clearer could I be?)
The I got to thinking about the likes of, an expression I found odious during my magazine-editing days: By the likes of do you mean these? Then why not say so? Well, here's why: you can fudge like made with the likes of...and with just a little ingenuity I can pad the old vitae even more by pointing out that I have written for the likes of Esquire--since there was certainly an interval back in the 1980s when the editor and art director of the magazine on which I worked seemed intent on making it look and read an awful lot like Esquire, Jr. ("No I never said I wrote for Esquire; I said I wrote for the likes of Esquire!"
It also occurs to me that I can claim to have "contributed" to several sources, including the Associated Press--sources that did not use my releases verbatim but which adapted them or otherwise built on them for their own reports. It's a shame I didn't think to send releases to Reuters. Oh, well, there's always next year. As it is, it's going to take me several days just to update my CV.
He said jokingly!!
Delancey Place
"[O]ne of the all-time great grammatical shibboleths [is] that when writing a sentence or a clause, you must not ... make a preposition the last word you put in. This notion apparently originated with the poet John Dryden, who in a 1672 work quoted Ben Jonson's line 'The bodies that these souls were frighted from' and commented 'The Preposition at the end of a sentence; a common fault with him, and which I have but lately observ'd in my own writings.' Probably, Dryden based his stand on two foundations. First, prepositions in Latin never appear at the end of a sentence, not surprising since praepositio is Latin for something that 'comes before.' Second, a principle of composition that's as valid in the twenty-first century as it was in the seventeenth holds that, whenever possible, sentences should end strongly--and prepositions, as necessary as they undeniably are, are usually more of a whimper than a bang.
"Whatever its origin, the ban found favor with prescriptivists through the centuries, including Edward Gibbon; John Ruskin, who in an entire book (Seven Lamps) concluded a sentence with a preposition precisely one time; Lily Tomlin's officious Ernestine the telephone operator, who asked, 'Is this the party to whom I am speaking?'; and my mother-in-law, Marge Simeone, who is prone to saying things like 'In which car are we going?'... [B]ut [this rule] was always a bit suspect. It was blown out of the water by [Henry] Fowler, who wrote in A Dictionary of Modern English Usage, 'Those who lay down the universal principle that final prepositions are 'inelegant' are unconsciously trying to deprive the English language of a valuable idiomatic resource, which has been used freely by all our greatest writers except those whose instinct for English idiom has been overpowered by notions of correctness derived from Latin standards.' Fowler then gave twenty-four examples of the 'rule' being broken by such writers as Chaucer, Spenser, Milton, Pepys, Swift, Defoe, Burke, Kipling, and the authors of the King James Bible. ... When the preposition occurs in a phrasal verb, the transposition task can be close to impossible. To 'fix' a phrasal-verb-concluding sentence like 'I'm turning in,' you'd have to come up with something like 'Turning in I am,' which not even Yoda from Star Wars could say with a straight face.
"To anyone still unconvinced, I offer two small anecdotes, in reverse order of familiarity.
"1. Winston Churchill, when corrected for violating this rule, supposedly replied, 'That is the sort of nonsense up with I will not put.'
"2. A guy from South Philadelphia, on vacation in London, asks a bowler-hatted gent, 'Where's the subway at?' The Londoner replies, 'Don't you Yanks realize that it's poor English to end a sentence with a preposition?' To which the South Philly guy says, 'Okay, where's the subway at, asshole?' "
Ben Yagoda, When You Catch an Adjective, Kill It, Broadway Books, 2007, pp. 163-165.
Thursday, June 07, 2007
"Honor and Dignity" in the White House
Anyhow, here's this thought-provoking piece by Mark Buchanan:
Chain Reactions
The political party that claimed it would restore “honor and dignity to the White House” has done nothing of the sort. Having on false pretenses led us into the disaster of Iraq, the administration and its supporters are now beginning – cravenly and shamefully – to shift blame onto the Iraqi people. The administration continues to hold hundreds of people without charges in secret prisons around the world, while arguing that torture is O.K. and that President Bush can disregard the laws he doesn’t like. I haven’t even mentioned illegal spying or efforts to keep scientists quiet if they’re saying the wrong thing.
Where’s the honor and dignity?
In her testimony last week before a House panel, Monica Goodling, the Justice Department’s liaison to the White House, admitted that she had “crossed the line” in using political considerations to judge potential Justice Department employees. She may well have broken laws that forbid political influence over civil service positions. But “crossing the line” has been business as usual for the past six years. Goodling’s behavior follows a pattern established across almost all federal agencies, where the administration has sought loyalty over competence at every turn.
Another word for it, of course, is corruption – and it’s natural to wonder how we got so deeply mired in it. If the gathering storm of investigations forces Karl Rove and other White House officials one day to testify under oath, we may have some chance of finding out. And I suspect, if we do, that we’ll discover that honor and dignity were sacrificed at the very top. It will be a familiar story – of a few power-hungry and largely amoral political operatives, the real drivers, whose actions encouraged and directed a small army of fairly ordinary people, the Monica Goodlings of this world, many of whom were hardly aware they were doing something wrong.
People who engage in corrupt acts often do not see them as such. This much has emerged from studies of corporate scandals and fraud at places like Enron or WorldCom. In a study two years ago, for example, business professors Vikas Anand, Blake Ashforth and Mahendra Joshi concluded that most fraud within institutions takes place through the willing cooperation of many otherwise upstanding individuals with no psychological predisposition to be criminals.
Whether embezzling money, undermining product safety regulations, or even selling completely fake products, the perpetrators rationalize away their responsibility. They deny that they actually had any choice, saying that “everyone was doing it.” Or they deny that anyone really got hurt, so there really was no crime: “They’re a big company, they can afford to overpay us.”
Then there’s the popular appeal to higher authority, a mechanism with special relevance, perhaps, to the loyalty-rewarding Bush administration: “I had to do it out of loyalty to my boss.”
All of this isn’t so surprising, actually, when you realize that we like to feel good about ourselves and about those with whom we work, and that our brains have immense talent for producing reasons why we should. People engaged in corruption, the academic researchers suggest, create a kind of psychological atmosphere in which what they’re doing seems normal or even honorable. So if congressional oversight does ultimately expose the machinations behind anything from secret prisons to the United States prosecutor purge, brace yourself for a litany of the usual excuses – “We didn’t know it was wrong” and “We were told to do it.”
But the psychology of rationalization is only part of the story. The other element in all such cases seems to be a chain-like linking together of individual actions that can undermine social norms with surprising speed – or keep them safe, sometimes if just a single person remains strong.
In the late 1970s, Stanford sociologist Mark Granovetter pointed out that the differences among people – in their willingness to engage in certain kinds of acts – can lead to surprises. Think of the dance floor at a party. Some people are more than happy to be the first out there, dancing alone, but lots of the rest of us would like some others out there first. You might be willing to go out if five or six went before you, while others might require 20 or 30. Some might not go out unless everyone at the party was out there.
The point is that each of us has a threshold for joining in, which depends on personality, the music being played and so on, but also – and this is the really important part – on how many others have already joined in. As Granovetter argued, this can make a group’s behavior extremely difficult to predict.
Just imagine, for example, that 100 people at the party have thresholds ranging from 0 to 99. In this case, everyone will soon be dancing, you can be sure of it. The natural extrovert with threshold 0 will kick it off, soon to be joined by the person with threshold 1, and the dancing will grow, eventually involving even the reluctant people.
But notice how delicately the outcome depends on the precise interlocking of these thresholds. If the person with threshold 1 goes home, then after the first person starts dancing the rest will simply stand by watching. With no one willing to be the second person onto the floor, there’s no chain reaction. So just one person can have a dramatic effect on the overall group.
This is just a toy model, but it illustrates something about the logic of people joining not only dance floors, but riots or protests, trips to the pub in the evening, getting in with others to skim cash from the restaurant till – or violating well-known rules against taking political affiliation into account when hiring. Tiny differences in the group makeup, the presence or absence or a few people of the right type, might be the difference between a few renegade violators and division-wide corruption.
I can’t help thinking of the bizarre attempt by then-White House officials Andrew Card and Alberto Gonzales to get then-Attorney General John Ashcroft, drugged and in the hospital, to sign off on a secret National Security Agency wiretapping program. Ashcroft – who back then I would have thought would rubber-stamp anything Bush wanted – was clearly made of sterner stuff and refused, as did Deputy Attorney General James B. Comey. Again, we won’t know how much effect these refusals had – and just how extreme the program was that Bush wanted to authorize – until someone manages to get past White House stonewalling and digs up the real information.
But the fragility of social outcome, its potential sensitivity to the actions of just one person, brings home the profound importance of individual responsibility. Everyone’s actions count. The laws and institutional traditions we have were put in place precisely to help us avoid these social meltdowns, and to give people the incentive not to step over the line, especially when lots of others are doing so already. In particular, the laws of the civil service prevent hiring on the basis of political affiliation (at least for many positions), and the routine violation of those laws puts our democracy at risk. Many people went along with it, and so might have many more, had the creeping corruption not been exposed when it was.
Restoring honesty and dignity. One might say of it what Gandhi said when asked what he thought of Western Civilization: “I think it would be a good idea.”